Baby #2!

I am so behind it is pathetic! It has bee a wild few months of trying to organize life, get in with the new "norm", and get back to our daily grind.  We have been to Ireland and Paris in the meanwhile since I last updated and I will post pics eventually.  This is really more of the exciting news I meant to document back in August when we found out but never quite around to.  We are officially expecting baby #2! I am scared out of my mind of what this next adventure will entail and I am slowly starting to realize how drastically life is going to change going from one kid to two.  We are about fifteen weeks now and due April 26, 2016.  We don't know the gender yet unfortunately and neither of us really have a clue what it is.  All that really matters is that it is happy and healthy, and Azy doesn't kill it.

Pregnancy does wonders for most women, they might say it is enjoyable.  I am quite the opposite I despise almost every second of it and I am terrified of labor.  I have extremely difficult pregnancies it seems that my body and babies are not entirely compatible.  It gets frustrating when friends who are expecting have it easy and don't get sick, deal with excruciating pain, throwing up, weight loss, etc... the list could really go on forever.   This is my second pregnancy suffering from Hyperemesis, if you aren't familiar with it is basically feels like having the stomach flu all the time.  I have lost about fifteen pounds, I have been going in weekly for IV treatments due to extreme dehydration and lack of calories.  I am unable to eat a whole lot or want to eat.  I do what I can obviously to survive and make sure I am not starving. Most days though it seems my biggest battle isn't with the two year old it is with my own body.  I have good days and I have bad days where I am knocked down literally and can't move off the couch or out of bed.  It is hard emotionally and mentally to stay positive and maintain what I used to think was a sense of normalcy.  It is hard to be open with people about how I feel, it is even harder to let people help.

We aren't in a position where family can help with Azy.  I hate to admit that there have been more days recently where Netflix has been on all day just to keep her occupied so I don't have to.  I hate parenting like that, I always vowed that I would never plop my child in front of the television to keep them occupied.  I don't agree that that is good parenting either.  If that offends you, I am sorry but my mind was always wanting to do as much with my children away from technology as possible. Azy has been pretty amazing for the most part and will just play by herself and do her thing.  I have been extremely grateful to the few people who have bent over backwards to help watch her while I have been at the hospital getting my treatments on a weekly basis.

I have found I have almost lost myself more this time around.  I don't feel like I am my normal self or feel like I know what normal is anymore. I am grateful for the little baby inside growing healthy and strong.  I am grateful for my husband who been more than helpful and doing a lot more than I would have ever expected.  I am blessed beyond a shadow of a doubt.  So here it is again baby dos coming spring of 2016!


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