It's funny how life seems to creep up on you in an instant. I could have sworn we just got here to Omaha and started living. But here we are... Again... Packing up our life into boxes and moving again. I don't think this would be so hard if it weren't for the amazing year we have had here in Bellevue.
When I arrived alone, overwhelmed, and extremely pregnant I panicked. I didn't know where to start or have a clue as to what I was doing. I kept thinking "what is this? Is this really my life?" I had no idea of the wonderful blessings that this place would have in store for me and our family. This year has come and gone faster than I ever could have imagined. I'm writing this in a sense of reflection, but really it's just panic. Because here we are again, moving not to another house or state but halfway across the world.
It kind of hit me today all at once and I couldn't help but just become stressed and anxious. I am not ready to pack my stuff away, ship it, live out of random places for the next two months. It's all so much to try and process. I can't say that I'm good at dealing with stress. Especially now with a baby, I find my common physical ailment with stress are migraines. I've had a pretty consistent migraine for going on three days now. It's annoying really and I hate how I feel and act when I do have them.
I like to think I'm pretty organized with trying to prep everything and get the house ready. I have made lists upon lists but ultimately I'm realizing it hasn't done any good. I can take any possession with me but leaving this place is what is causing me to panic. No we don't love our house or the short length of time of which we were able to stay here. I am becoming devastated at the idea of leaving some of the most amazing people I have come to know. And to leave special moments and places behind.
This is the home we brought our baby to, where we started our family. The place where so many firsts have happened. The place where we could really consider our life starting and having purpose besides just school. It is funny how fast time has gone and how so much has changed from last year. We have a beautiful healthy little girl that we cherish having every moment with. Aislyn has blessed our lives beyond words.
We have come to know many individuals who have touched our lives and become truly great friends. We had the privilege to be integrated into a ward that has so many amazing members. I will truly miss attending the Bellevue 2nd. This families and friends we know are some of my greatest friends and when we leave on a plane I will truly ache saying goodbye. So many people don't know how much they have meant to us and become such good friends, it will be sad to say goodbye. We have one more Sunday in our ward and I'm extremely sad to say goodbye.
I'm nervous for moving so far away and living in a place we have never been to. Nervous for so many little things and excited at the same time. It is here this week that everything seems to be changing all at once. It's overwhelming and stressing. I feel like we have no time to get the last little things done. I have been trying to read my scriptures and focus on conference talks each week to become a better person and be at peace with everything.
I came across this conference talk and chose some phrases that stood out to me.
The Strength to Endure- Elder Richard Maynes
Because we face challenges every day, it is important that we work on our spiritual stamina every day. When we develop spiritual stamina, the false traditions of the world, as well as our personal daily challenges, will have little negative impact on our ability to endure in righteousness.
The Apostle Paul stated, “Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.”5 The race that is set before us on this earth is an endurance race filled with obstacles. The obstacles in this race are the challenges we wake up to each morning. We are here on earth to run the race, to exercise our moral agency, and to choose between right and wrong. In order to honorably and successfully finish the race and return to our Heavenly Father, we will need to pay the price of dedication, perseverance, and self-discipline. We need to get into spiritual shape. We need to develop spiritual stamina. We need strong testimonies that will lead to true conversion, and as a result we will find within ourselves the inner peace and strength needed to endure whatever challenges we may face.
So ultimately we just need to endure til next Thursday, say goodbye, and move on to the step in our life.
Here's a catch up on pictures.